Sunday, December 17, 2006

Mickis' Christmas


The year our younger daughter was three, she had already figured out the relationship of cause and effect. As we drove past a local coffee shop that we had patronized on occasion, I said to Bill, "Well, I'll be darned, the Copper Penny has closed." Without missing a beat, from the back seat, our moppet food critic said, "No wonder! They put pickles in their tuna fish." Cause. Effect.

Our destination that day was the girls' first up-close visit to Santa Claus. Oh, what fun! The line was long. The kids were bright-eyed and expectant, music and laughter filled the background with merriment. Santa was miked, so each child's wish was amplified to the waiting crowd. The line inched forward.

Britton was next. She cautiously approached Santa. Sat on his lap (do they still do that?). Santa began his spiel, mindful of his mandate to SELL toys, games, dolls!

"What would you like Santa to bring you?" he inquired.

"I want an egg slicer," Britton responded, matter-of-factly. She had eaten at various dining establishments that offered the ubiquitous sliced eggs fanned out on its salads. She did not want her ova "ovo easy." Nope. Sliced was a winner with her.

"An egg slicer, well ho ho ho, do you want a doll like this one?" Santa asked, as he reached over and picked up Dressy Bessy for all to see.

"No. I want an egg slicer."

"How about these Legos?"

"No. Just an egg slicer. I want an egg slicer."

"I'll bet you'd like that red tricycle, wouldn't you?"

"No. I... WANT... AN... EGG... SLICER." Losing patience.

Santa tried again. Then the line of 3-8 year olds began hooting with impatience. "SHE WANTS AN EGG SLICER!" "SANTA, CAN'T YOU HEAR?" "SHE TOLD YOU WHAT SHE WANTS!" "SANTA! STOP IT!"

Not to be deterred by the restless crowd, Santa made another attempt to turn Britton into a consumer, "Do you want Santa to bring you a Barbie Doll?"

At that point, she jumped off his lap and announced, "I want to talk to a Santa who listens!"

The line dispersed as kids yanked their mother's hands. "I don't want to see
that Santa." "Let's go see a different Santa."

That Santa learned a lesson of cause and effect.

Britton did get her egg slicer. In fact, this year she is remodeling her kitchen and we're giving her a brand new egg slicer for Christmas to mark the occasion.


Anonymous said...

I should have mentioned -- actually, the kids never wanted to visit Santa again.

DEN said...

Great story! Britton is so practical!

Kids learning crass commercialism the hard way.

Be a good little consumer, spend, spend, spend. See this years hot products! Bla, bla, bla!

Anonymous said...

Now that I think about it. Time should have named Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert "Men of the Year."

Many of us look at trends for an indication of what's coming down the pike. I think Stewart and Colbert did more to highlight the madness of the current government/politicians in power than users of the Internet(s) did.

Yup. Stewart and Colbert were agents of change. The Internet(s) followed.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Den.

DEN said...

Micki, K.Olbermann kicked butt too!

His "Special Comments" rocked!

O'Reilly said...


That is such a great story and so wonderfully written. "No wonder. They put pickles in their tuna fish." Cause and effect.

There's something so charming about the observations of children and something fascinating about a precocious intellect.

I really enjoyed your story... what a genrous and heartwarming Christmas treat. Like a christmas cookie and a cup of hot chocolate. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Right. KO played a big part, too, but Stewart and Colbert did it with incisive, insightful humor that got the attention of an important segment of the population -- the YOUNG! The future...

Anonymous said...

Like a christmas cookie and a cup of hot chocolate. w/o the transfats! Hohoho.

Thanks, O'Reilly.

Your comment reminded me of the year Kristin, (older daughter) was becoming a non-believer. She set out the Christmas cookies for Santa and attached a note: "Please sign here_______________"

Ahh...the innocence of children.

Jeanne said...

Great story Micki. I have to tell this bad. It occurred during the summer though...I guess that makes it off topic. My oldest daughter at two was very verbal and stubborn. My husband was trying to get her into her car seat and she kept pushing herself up. I could hear my husband grumbling. All of a sudden I heard a bellowing yell from my daughter loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. "MY NAME IS NOT GODDAM IT!"

David B. Benson said...

There is nothing, NOTHING, better in this world than a sharp egg-slicer!

ÂșCÂșarol said...

Micki, great story. That had to have been a hoot!

David B. Benson said...

den --- That is a most nostalgic postcard picture you chose today. Ahhh...

Anonymous said...

I think that house in the pic is built too close to the river. Probably doesn't have flood insurance either.

Anonymous said...

Danke, Carol!

David B. Benson said...

Micki --- That little stream NEVER floods of course. Pre global warming and all that...

Anonymous said...


Bush to Expand Size of Military

By Peter Baker
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, December 19, 2006; 4:18 PM

President Bush said today that he plans to expand the size of the U.S. military to meet the challenges of a long-term global war against terrorists, a response to warnings that sustained deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan have stretched the armed forces to near the breaking point.

In an interview with The Washington Post, Bush said he has instructed newly sworn-in Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates to report back to him with a plan to increase ground forces. The president gave no estimates about how many troops may be added but indicated that he agreed with suggestions in the Pentagon and on Capitol Hill that the current military is stretched too thin to cope with the demands placed on it.

"I'm inclined to believe that we do need to increase our troops -- the Army, the Marines," Bush said in the Oval Office session. "And I talked about this to Secretary Gates and he is going to spend some time talking to the folks in the building, come back with a recommendation to me about how to proceed forward on this idea."

Anonymous said...

Dr. B - I think that house was on the Skookumchuck River.

On another matter, I heard St. Helens was steaming and burping a little more today -- but it probably means nothing.

David B. Benson said...

Micki --- That little house in the woods certainly is not along the Skoocumchuk River in the picture!

And no, I am quite sure you need not be concerned about Mt. St. Helens for at least, absolute minimum, 600 years...

Anonymous said...

Okay. I must have my rivers mixed up. I won't argue. And that's not de-nile!

Anonymous said...

DR B LOOK AT THE SECOND PICTURE! That little house could have been on the banks of the Skook - in British Columbia!


David B. Benson said...

micki --- Rrrrrr-i-g-h-t!

Jeanne said...

Wow Micki, that picture is intense. I kayake and my husband really kayaks (all year round) but nothing like that.

Den, is that picture along Rice Creek?

Anonymous said...

Oh, how I'd love it if SMU told bush to take his LIE-BERRY and shove it!

The blog of Paul Burka, the senior executive editor of the magazine Texas Monthly, includes excerpts of a letter written to SMU's president by faculty, administrators, and staff of the university's Perkins School of Theology, worrying about siting the library at the university. In it, they say they would:

...regret to see SMU enshrine attitudes and actions widely deemed as ethically egregious: degradation of habeas corpus, outright denial of global warming, flagrant disregard for international treaties, alienation of long-term U.S. allies, environmental predation, shameful disrespect for gay persons and their rights, a pre-emptive war based on false and misleading premises, and a host of other erosions of respect for the global human community and for this good Earth on which our flourishing depends.

Alan said...

Mickiiii!! Great story, and well-written too! Thanks for submitting it, and thanks to Den for posting it.