Thursday, February 15, 2007

Friday Funnies







Like a Roadrunner cartoon, prezident coyote miscalculated once again.........THUD!!!

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30 comments:

DEN said...

A woman went to a K-Mart service counter
and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The
clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in
the air and started screaming,

PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers.
The manager comes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am
what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the
toaster, and he also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.
Once again, the woman throws her arms up in
the air and screamed,

PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!

and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!
In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that? In a huff, the woman says,

"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"

The crowd broke into applause and they refunded her money.

Jeanne said...

I have to remember that one next time I go shopping Den. Or next time I visit Washington DC. I could stand in front of the White House or Congress. I bet the croud would be huge and instead of applause they would join in.

off to work.

Hajji said...

Ffolks,

It is with profound joy and a great sense of relief that I share the news with you of Jill’s youngest son Grant’s departure from Iraq. He has been taking part in combat and security operations in Tal Afar, in the north and most recently outside Ar Ramadi , in the volatile Anbar province.

He has been serving with great honor long past his original release date of September, 2006 due to the stop-loss policies of the US military. Grant’s promotions and awards since his deployment to Iraq are testimony to his strength of character and his ability find a way to do what good he can in the midst of such horrible situations.

While the support of our friends and family often helped us to bolster our spirits and have assuaged many days of worry, the outpouring of positive thoughts, of hope and the deliveries of care packages from many of you have made his time more bearable and in many cases have overflowed to nurture his comrades in arms.

Several times the care packages have been re-directed into the neighborhoods he’s patrolled, to the delight of many young children.

While we are joyful at the prospect of having Grant back on friendly soil where we can fawn over him for a while before settling back into the mundane, we are mindful of the families of thousands of other soldiers, sailors and airmen whose loved ones have been lost in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every day, between 2 and 3 families of US military personnel are notified that their loved ones have been killed. Many thousands more of those servicepersons are wounded and/or psychologically maimed every year.

We urge you to turn your thoughts, prayers and actions to the support of those individuals and their families, as you have ours.

We also ask you to remember the thousands upon thousands of Iraqi families who continue to suffer the loss of a much greater number of loved ones, hundreds daily, to the meat-grinder that Iraq has become. The children, as usual in such conflict, suffer most. Malnutrition, disease and hopelessly inadequate medical care are major hurdles. They are orphaned, frightened and many are killed daily for no offense but being in the wrong place at the wrong time, often simply in the arms of their parents.

It is to those innocent children, their families and all those in the world who suffer endlessly due to the actions of politicians, war-profiteers and religious leaders who’ve forsaken their own god’s commandments that we now give our thoughts, our prayers and hopefully meaningful actions. We urge you to support only those who call for an end to such unnecessary suffering caused by the actions of governments that create environments of chaos where such evil can thrive.

Once again, we thank you for your support of us and our families.

-Tom Hodges and Jill Heatherington

DEN said...

Tom,Absolutely the greatest great news!!!

You are so right about the suffering and dying going on in that meatgrinder called Iraq, corporate crooks do anything for the almighty dollar including waging war.

Those people are not any part of humanity I am proud of.

Spanky on the other hand is someone to be proud of. My guess is he has done a lot of growing up over there.

He will need his family to get out of the 'combat mode' and back into civilian life, it will take time to adjust, he is lucky to have you guys for support.

If he needs to write stuff down to relieve the pressure, I will gladly post his thoughts here.

David B. Benson said...

Hajji and Den --- That would be very good. Will be very good!

Micki said...

Say what you will about Nancy Pelosi, but she's making it more and more difficult for the Repugs to make a mockery of the will of the American people.

BTW, Christopher Shays (R-CT) and Heather Wilson (R-NM), who barely held onto their seats, should be targeted early for removal from office in '08. Throw 'em out.

DEN said...

Micki, we sure need to clean house!

Honest, hard working, patriotic Americans needed to be Senators and Representatives, applications currently being accepted.

DEN said...

Crickets chirping......

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Alan said...

Say what you will about Nancy Pelosi, but she's making it more and more difficult for the Repugs to make a mockery of the will of the American people.

Micki, have you checked out her blog yet?!! She's doing (or whoever she assigned to do it for her) a great job on it. Here's the link... and I know it's better for broadbanders, with the videos... but there's articles too.

The Gavel

Alan said...

I forgot this part...

Watch Speaker Nancy Pelosi on the resolution expressing support for our troops and disapproving of the President’s escalation plan in Iraq, which has just passed the House, 246-182:

Alan said...

Amen brotherrrr!!!

This is only a 1½-minute video... well worth the wait for you dial-ups.

Tim Ryan D-Ohio, on Republican incompetence

Carey said...

Alan,

Got to see Pelosi's floor speech. Nice. She's holding her own, that's for sure.

Before I forget, CORRECTIONS:

Obama didn't announce his candidacy in front of the Lincoln Memorial in D.C. Duh me. It was in Lincoln's hometown of Springfield. Same diff.

Ed Shultz has not been canned. He doesn't work for Air America. He's in syndication. He was ranting his head off a couple of days ago about how awful Air America was, that they were thieving scums and all. My sister says he's done that before, by the way, this isn't the first time. This strong a rant? No.

I agree with you, Micki, about Schultz.

Den,

Liked your joke.

HAJJI,

What wonderful news! Y'all must be overwhelmed with joy.

Welcome home Spanky.


It is good of you to remind us of what's important. People need to remind themselves daily of the tradgedies suffered while people play needlesss, heartless political gamess. It's despicable.

David B. Benson said...

January, 2007, was the warmest on record, globally...

Carol said...

Hajji, great news! Where is Spanky right now? Hope he's in Germany, or better yet on his way to the States.

Carey said...

That's not a good sign, Dr. B.


This is a useful, informative piece with interesting historical precedents. Oy!

Bush Iran War Agenda: Trigger an "Accidental Conflict," as a pretext to justify "Limited Strikes"


Hillary Mann, the former National Security Council Director for Iranian and Persian Gulf Affairs under the Bush Administration from 2001 to 2004, has issued a sober warning to the public today concerning the Bush Administration's intentions with Iran.

In an interview this morning on CNN(1), she accused the Bush Administration of "trying to push a provocative, accidental conflict," as a pretext to justify "limited strikes" on crucial nuclear and military infrastructures, as opposed to a large ground war as is the case with Iraq.

When asked why the Bush Administration was seeking to do this, she responded that it is a part of Bush's broader agenda for the Middle East to bring about a "democratization... peace and stability", to the region.

Of course, one only has to look back to history to see the Bush Administration's real agenda behind confronting Iran. Iran is only one piece of the puzzle in a broader, century long struggle by the US, Britain, and it's Western allies to secure the Middle East’s oil reserves.

Micki said...

Hey, Alan...thanks for the Speaker's link. Good stuff.

Carey -- I've heard Ed Schultz rant about (against) Air America a couple of times. Quick! Mute! If Clear Channel or Fox offered him a higher paying job, he'd make a hard right turn, leaving skid marks. Gag.

Dr. B -- you've undoubtedly seen this...but...The principal glacier of the world's biggest tropical ice-cap could disappear within five years as a result of global warming, one of the world's leading glaciologists predicted yesterday.

The imminent demise of the Qori Kalis glacier, the main component of the Quelccaya ice cap in the Peruvian Andes, offers the starkest evidence yet of the effects of climate change, according to Lonnie Thompson, of Ohio State University.

Although scientists have known for decades that Qori Kalis and the other Quelccaya glaciers are melting, new observations indicate that the rate of retreat is increasing, Professor Thompson said. When he visits this summer, he expects to find that the glacier has halved in size since last year, and he believes that Qori Kalis will be gone within five years.

Hajji -- a hearty welcome home to Sgt. Spanky! Now, we gotta get 'em all home!

Micki said...

More corruption GOP-style...

Sue Ellen Wooldridge, the Justice Department's top environmental attorney and a former political appointee at the Interior Department, recently resigned after disclosing her long-term relationship with J. Steven Griles—the Interior Department's former deputy secretary whose ties to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff are the subject of a criminal investigation. Wooldridge played a lead role in responding to earlier ethics investigations of Griles, at times even helping deflect allegations against him.

The Washington Post reported yesterday that while at the Justice Department, Wooldridge purchased a $980,000 vacation home with Griles and a lobbyist for ConocoPhillips. Nine months after entering this business partnership, Wooldridge approved consent decrees allowing the oil company to delay environmental clean-up projects.

Micki said...

Regarding the post about Wooldridge...

The House Natural Resources Committee is holding an oversight hearing today to examine ethical failures, employee misconduct and general mismanagement at the Interior Department. Inspector General Devaney provided testimony on the ethics investigations his office has conducted over the past few years.

The Democrats have so much to do to clean up the messes of the last six years...it's only February 16. I'll give 'em two (opposable*) thumbs up for a good start to the 110th Congress!

*thanks, Brandon!

Micki said...

Who is Thom Hartmann

I enjoy listening to Thom Harmann.

Carey said...

Micki and Dr. B. are the bearers of more bad tidings on the planet's condition.

I'm am so sick of people calling planet worries a hoax.



During the whole John Hardaway brouhaha I kept wondering why his remarks caused so much ruckus. They were awful but not that far off from what mainstream people are voting for. That is, the banning of gay marriage. Can't stop remembering that the deliverer of this message, in this case as well as the actor Isaiah Washington's, is black.

Who Hates Gay People?

"I hate gay people." "I'm homophobic." "I don't like to be around gay people."

...My point: There's something unseemly about all the attention showered upon Tim Hardaway and Isaiah Washington's little anti-gay outbursts. In the grand scheme of things, these guys are nobodies; their statements do nothing, unlike the kingpins and elected officials of the right-wing whose words have a tendency to become state policy. Hardaway and Washington do happen to be black and particularly blunt, and so they will be taken out to the woodshed by the PC police, by GLAAD or NBA commissioner David Stern or some ABC exec. They will enter rehab, "examine their feelings," and learn the weasel words of tolerance and diversity. A fine example will have been made, and then business will go on as usual.

What is that business? Hardaway said it. "It [homosexuality] shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

Micki said...

Schultz vs. Air America

Jeez, Carey, this must have been what you heard the other day!

Micki said...

I'm am so sick of people calling planet worries a hoax.

You and me!!!!!!

Micki said...

I'm equally sick of the people who think it's a manufactured story that's all about making money.

What??!!!!

DEN said...

Carey, you heard it here first.

Micki, I'll third that!

Jeanne said...

Tim Ryan has my respect. What a great guy. He just tells it like it is and it is so refreshing to hear it.

Hajji, I am so glad Jill's son has made it out alive and in one piece. This war needs to end so that all brothers and sons and fathers and mothers and aunts and uncles and daughters and sisters come home. They need to be home with their families.

Hajji said...

Tonight on "NOW" (PBS)...

US govt. e-mail mining in conjunction with ATT...

John Yoo makes an even BIGGER ass of his traitorous self!

-T

Hajji said...

and thanx, all..


I'm cuttin' and pastin' all these responses to show Grant, when he finally gets home, Hopefully near the middle of next month.

Gonna be hard for him to sit on his hands and stay out of trouble, back in Germany for a month!

-T

Saladin said...

And I am sick and tired of the govt. and media constantly creating a crisis to terrify and impoverish the people! How many times in the past have the "majority" clung to a "certain" science only to be proven dead wrong? The climate changes, it always has, it always will. Human activity on Earth is not even a geologic blink in time, but suddenly it's all our fault that the earth is not living up to our expectations? Is anyone familiar with the Bretz Floods? These occurred relatively recently and produced some of the most catastrophically devasting floods known to have ever happened, yes it was due to climate change, warming, melting ice sheets, receding glaciers etc. But they weren't caused by burning fossil fuel! Mr. Bretz was a laughing stock because of his theory for what caused the channeled scablands of eastern Wa. State. That book was already written, accepted geologic orthodoxy, and gathering dust on the shelf. But Mr.Bretz disagreed and spent many long years proving his hypothosis, and guess what? He was right, all the rest were wrong. This is only one of many examples of science gone wrong. Humans are creating plenty of grief without this being added to the plate. There is a lot more to this then we are being told.


COSMIC RAYS AND CLIMATE CHANGE

Saladin said...

DEN, I hope that was diplomatic enough. Blowing off theories that are in opposition to the prevailing and politically accepted dogma is not science, it is religion. Science is a constant search for empirical facts, not an attempt to keep the herd in check. Calling a debate dead when it is far from it is dishonest at best. Ernst Zundel was just sentenced to 5 years in prison for vocally disagreeing with the Holocaust religion, basically thought crimes. Will they resort to that for those who dare to question the Climate Change orthodoxy? Throw them in prison? Or maybe just destroy their careers? Is this what science has come to after all these centuries? Gallileo must be turning in his grave. Is there ANY critical and rational thinking going on anymore? Or are we reduced to believing what we're told because that's what EVERYONE believes? Gosh, maybe the earth really is flat and the center of the universe.

Saladin said...

The following is from the link I posted to the Biology Cabinet. No politics, no agendas, just sensible ideas to weather the coming NATURAL storms.

SOLUTIONS TO CLIMATE CHANGE AND GLOBAL WARMING
By Nasif Nahle

1. We must stop the deforestation and reforest what has been deforested.

2. We must to shorten right now the profits of monopolists by increasing the wages of their workers and employees.

3. We must to create work centers in the countryside, especially in non developed countries like Africa.

4. We must to stimulate the food production, in special the agriculture, through subsidies from organisms of the UN.

5. Anywhere in the world, we to construct desalination water plants in strategically important points.

6. We must to make conscience in the public about the importance of saving water.

7. Urge to relocate the human populations from coastal areas.

8. Urge to save fuels and foods.

9. We must to control the industrial pollution by applying effectively the environmental regulations.

10. We must to proscribe the application of fantastic solutions (like that of “seeding” iron in oceans) that could alter the natural balancers and would modify to the ecosystems, making them inhospitable for other populations different from the benefited population.

11. We must to avoid that industrialization stops, but reinforcing the environmental regulations.

These measures will not alter the way of life of human beings and they will help us to face successfully the changes that could come in the next centuries. They also will help us to rescue many of our most useful species, but, specially, to the vegetal world, on which all the living beings on this planet depend directly.