Friday, April 27, 2007

FRIDAY FUNNIES








Thanks Alan! Happy Friday Everyone!!

74 comments:

micki said...

EarthPortal.org

Earth Portal is the result of 650 of the world's top scientists in 49 countries (so far) coming together to produce the highest quality, non-commercial, non-profit resource for information
about our planet anywhere in the World.

Launches today, April 27.

micki said...

EarthPortal -- Earth News, timely, topical, trustworthy

micki said...

EarthPortal -- The Encyclopedia of Earth, content, credibility, community

micki said...

From the previous thread...Den, with all due respect, Mike Gravel will not garner copious amounts of media attention because he is NOT a viable contender for the nomination -- his campaign is neither financially sustainable, nor does it have a reasonable chance of succeeding. Those two facts are not the media's doing -- it's just reality.

I lived in Alaska when he was the Democratic U.S. Senator of that state -- I liked him, overall. I hadn't moved to Alaska yet when he introduced pages and pages of the Pentagon Papers into the Congressional Record, but I sure liked that he did that!

He may have some good ideas, but his role in this presidential campaign -- and good for him -- is to get debate started and to challenge his rivals on the issues. But...he's been campaigning for over a year but has a 0.1% or less support level.

At the end of March he had less than $500 cash on hand, against debts of nearly $90,000.

Den, reality BITES -- but don't blame the media. They screw up enough, but this isn't one of those times.

Besides, Gravel will be 77 YO next month.

DEN said...

Micki, sigh! spose you're right.

He definitely is needed in the Democratic party as he is not a DC "insider" like Clinton and Edwards.

micki said...

Put Bush's 'puppy dog' terror theory to sleep

By RICHARD CLARKE

Posted Wednesday, April 25th 2007, 4:00 AM

Be Our Guest

Does the President think terrorists are puppy dogs? He keeps saying that terrorists will "follow us home" like lost dogs. This will only happen, however, he says, if we "lose" in Iraq.

The puppy dog theory is the corollary to earlier sloganeering that proved the President had never studied logic: "We are fighting terrorists in Iraq so that we will not have to face them and fight them in the streets of our own cities."

Remarkably, in his attempt to embrace the failed Iraqi adventure even more than the President, Sen. John McCain is now parroting the line. "We lose this war and come home, they'll follow us home," he says.

How is this odd terrorist puppy dog behavior supposed to work? The President must believe that terrorists are playing by some odd rules of chivalry. Would this be the "only one slaughter ground at a time" rule of terrorism?

Of course, nothing about our being "over there" in any way prevents terrorists from coming here. Quite the opposite, the evidence is overwhelming that our presence provides motivation for people throughout the Arab world to become anti-American terrorists.

Some 100,000 Iraqis, probably more, have been killed since our invasion. They have parents, children, cousins and fellow tribal clan members who have pledged revenge no matter how long it takes. For many, that revenge is focused on America.

At the same time, investing time, energy and resources in Iraq takes our eye off two far more urgent tasks at hand: one, guarding the homeland against terrorism much better than the pork-dispensing Department of Homeland Security currently does the job; and two, systematically dismantling Al Qaeda all over the world, from Canada to Asia to Africa. On both these fronts, the Bush administration's focus is sorely lacking.

Yet in the fantasyland of illogic in which the President dwells, shaped by slogans devised by spin doctors, America can "win" in Iraq. Then, we are to believe, the terrorists will be so demoralized that they will recant their beliefs and cease their terrorist ways.

In the real world, by choosing unnecessarily to go into Iraq, Bush not only diverted efforts from delivering a death blow to Al Qaeda, he gave that movement both a second chance and the best recruiting tool possible.

U.S. military raids in Iraq have uncovered evidence that Iraqis are planning attacks in America, perhaps to be carried out by terrorists with European Union passports that require no U.S. visas. But such attacks here over the next several years are likely now no matter what happens next in Iraq - and that is because of what Bush has already done, not because of any future course we choose in Iraq.

But we can be sure that when the next attacks come in the U.S., if Bush is down on the ranch cutting trees, he and whatever few followers he retains by then will blame his successor. You can almost hear them now: If only hissuccessor had left enough U.S. troops in the Iraqi shooting gallery to satisfy the blood lust of the enemy, as Bush did, then they wouldn't have come here.

The truth: If not for this administration's reckless steps to push America into war - and strategic blunder after strategic blunder that has satisfied the blood lust of the enemy - fewer evildoers would follow us home like the dogs that they are.

DEN said...

So many of the mechanizations in politics are unseen by anyone, it is difficult to choose one or two candidates that are qualified enough to take the reigns.

The debate was interesting tho.

Edwards came off too religious for my taste. Clinton is Bush in womens clothing. Those two are out.

Dodd and Richardson came across as very sensible, Kucinich would make a great VP as he is well anchored, but too against the political grain for most folks.

See what the punditry parade has to say. Any candidate better have a squeaky clean background or else the swift boaters will pounce.

Wait till the Repugs do their debate, that ought to be a hoot!

DEN said...

If we can get through the 2008 election without another "Pearl Harbor Event" I will sleep a lot easier.

These fascists have went through a great deal of trouble to set things up for their advantage, and given the possible complicity in 9/11, would once again play on peoples fear to advance their agenda, and play right into their hands.

That is my principle worry.

Like Pavlovs' dog, it can happen again.

Alan said...

Hey, the surge is working! Uh oh, wait a minute, Those violence figures are missing one giant catagory... car bombs and other explosive devices. I'm sure it was an honest mistake that was overlooked in the released results and not our leader 'pushing the pencil. yeah right!

U.S. officials exclude car bombs in touting drop in Iraq violence

WASHINGTON - U.S. officials who say there has been a dramatic drop in sectarian violence in Iraq since President Bush began sending more American troops into Baghdad aren't counting one of the main killers of Iraqi civilians.

DEN said...

Interesting site "King George.biz"

micki said...

I have to say, Barack Obama and his advisors have come up with great framing on this: One signature away...! Great idea!

micki,

A piece of paper will soon be placed on George Bush's desk in the Oval Office.

By picking up a pen and signing his name to it, he could end the war in Iraq.

The House and Senate united and passed a bill that would provide for our troops now and begin a redeployment from Iraq to bring them home.

We're just one signature away from ending the tragic mistake that has cut short thousands of American lives, cost tens of billions of dollars, and destroyed America's global moral leadership. But only if the president signs the bill.

I opposed this war from the beginning, and I would sign the bill to end it in a heartbeat.

If you would too, please take a moment to tell someone just how simple it would be to end this war:

http://www.barackobama.com/onesignature

All of the politics, all of the spin, all of the rhetoric means very little today.

The overwhelming majority of Americans want this war to end. The president must follow them.

America is one signature away.

micki said...

On that Senate vote, 51-46:

Two Repubs voted with the Dems:

Chuck Hagel (R-NE)
Gordon Smith (R-OR)

Joe F**ker Lieberman voted with the Repugs.

Three not voting:

Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
John McCain (R-AZ)
Tim Johnson (D-SD -- still in hospital)

What's with that phoney Straight-talker McCain anyway? He's sure dodging a lot of votes lately.

DEN said...

Micki, I added Baracks One Signature link to the front page here.

Thanks!

DEN said...

Mr. Mcains' brain has left it's cavity.

DEN said...

The US's largest inland freshwater lake is 18 inches below normal due to drought.

micki said...

Thanks, Den. Good idea, you had, too!

On the other matter...which cavity?

DEN said...

Micki, Uh, which idea?

Maybe I should have phrased it as 'cavity exchange'.

Gravel was pretty heavily panned on most blogs as an 'over the hill nut',
since when is it 'nuts' to make sense out of madness?

DEN said...

Put a fork in 'Ole Hill', shes done!

micki said...

The idea of posting Obama's link...up there.

micki said...

'Ole Hill' is not done, Den.

Even if she doesn't win the Dem nomination, she is a very good, effective United States Senator from the state of New York.

She has done a lot of hard work and her constituents obviously support her.

I don't think it's fair to bash her, across the board. But, I guess, life is not fair....

DEN said...

Micki, sorry if you think I was to cruel with 'Ole Hill'.

I think she is too entrenched with the lobbyists and their ilk.

I want K-Street gone and the peoples Congress given back to the owners, the people, not BIG money.

A government for the people, run by the people, not some rich goomers.

Maybe then we could address Global Warming.

DEN said...

You would never know there were $3.30 per gallon gas prices here in CA where SUV's and pickups outnumber cars 3 to 1.

Gas Pigs-O-Plenty!

Senator Edwards responded to a question regarding why gas was so expensive, his answer? Demand.

Americans want to keep driving gas pigs, they will pay even more this summer.

Pretty damn dumb!

DEN said...

Now some ?funny? stuff.

Lets start with modifying your computer mouse to make it seem more realistic.

DEN said...

Also the question do I need a new computer?

DEN said...

EBay feedback

DEN said...

George Carlin: Why do they say, 'women's tennis,' but 'ladies' golf'?

DEN said...

Mark Fiore on gun control.

DEN said...

JibJab; What we Call the News

•¿•arol said...

BuzzFlash Hypocrite of the Week

Rudy Giuliani



Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

What do Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani have between them?

Six marriages – and a lot of philandering. Oh, did we mention that Rudy's third wife has been married three times too? (Until reminded recently by a reporter, she forgot one of her marriages.)

But that's not why Rudy G. -- who tried to foist his mobbed up former Police Chief Bernard Kerik on America as Director of the Office of Homeland Security -- is this week's BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite.

No, it's because Rudy claimed a couple of days ago that any Republican presidential candidate would prevent another 9/11, while any Democratic presidential candidate would not.

Beyond being plain stupid, as Keith Olbermann noted, 9/11 happened during the administration of George W. Bush, a Republican, in a city where the Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was a Republican.

As Olbermann also pointed out, beyond walking around the city looking defiant because the emergency command center he had placed in the twin towers against professional advice had been destroyed, Rudy G's chief memorable post-9/11 contribution was threatening to cancel the NYC mayoral elections.

Why? Because Rudy felt the city couldn't do without him in a crisis.

In fact, the city could do much better without him, considering how he helped cover up the environmental health risks that came as a result of 9/11.

Rudy G. is a legend in his own mind, an arrogant S.O.B. who deserves to be sent into permanent retirement, preferably in another country.

In a political party ripe with hypocrites, Rudy Giuliani's gross hypocrisy on 9/11 is right up there with the criminal Tom DeLay's assertion that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi were close to treason for trying to save the lives of our GIs.

Until next week, remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.

* * *

This is Rudy Giuliani's first HOTW Award. Welcome to the Club.

David B. Benson said...

Den --- Officers marry ladies, noncoms marry wives and enlisted men marry women.

Does that answer your question?

micki said...

Cruel? Didn't suggest that.

micki said...

776 B.C. - The first Olympics are held in ancient Greece. Women are excluded, so they compete every four years in their own Games of Hera, to honor the Greek goddess who ruled over women and the earth.

micki said...

1552 - Mary, Queen of Scots (1542-87), an avid golfer, coins the term “caddy” by calling her assistants cadets. It is during her reign that the famous golf course at St. Andrews is built.

They could be the "Queens of Golf?" But, that might be confusing....

micki said...

1811 - On January 9, the first known women’s golf tournament is held at Musselburgh Golf Club, Scotland, among the town fishwives

They are called ladies in golf because they prefer that to fishwives?

micki said...

1837 - Donald Walker's book, Exercise for Ladies, warns women against horseback riding, because it deforms the lower part of the body.

What is a female jockey called?

micki said...

1891 - At least 60 women enter a rifle-shooting contest in Regina, Saskatchewan.

Lady shooters? Women shooters? Female shooters? Just plain shooters?

DEN said...

Riflewomen!

micki said...

Maybe this is why they are LADY GOLFERS:

1893 - Formation of the Ladies Golf Union which sponsors the first British Ladies' championship, won by Lady Margaret Scott.

David B. Benson said...

Micki ---

jockette

shootette

:-)

DEN said...

Ladies were considered 'proper' in those days and called ladies.

Besides WPGA is harder to pronounce than LPGA.

Dubuya P G A
VS.
EL P G A

DEN said...

Oh now i am confused??

micki said...

Further confusion...

Cheryl White was America's first Black female jockey.

David B. Benson said...

Good for jockette Cheryl White!

micki said...

the diminutive female -ette makes sense to me...except there are some not so diminutive gals in sports!

micki said...

...definitely works for a jockette, however.

They need to be wee.

David B. Benson said...

Water thieves in Queensland.

micki said...

Carol -- I've always gotten a kick out of this phrasing...Rudy G. is a legend in his own mind...

Yeah, Rudy is the perfect HOTW!

DEN said...

HOTW? Homely-Old-Toad-Washer?

DEN said...

Hopeless-Old-Tight-Wad?

DEN said...

Happier-Out-Trying-Womensclothes?

Hunchback-Of-The-Woods?

Horny-Old-Troll-Weirdo?

Happier-One-Too-Weird?

I give up.

micki said...

Hypocrite of the Week

I bet you're kidding us, Den, and I'm falling for it....

David B. Benson said...

I didn't know what HOTW sttod for, but I was too shy to guess...

micki said...

Oh, really! Too shy?

You must have had some doozie guesses!

DEN said...

C'mon Doc, let you imagination run wild, give us a few.

It is Friday Funday you know.

DEN said...

While you're doing that, last nights debate was a showdown of many minds.

Who showed the most integrity?

DEN said...

And why? (OOPS) :)

David B. Benson said...

Den --- My guesses are not printable where ladies might read them. But if you can assure me that only men and women will read them...

:-)

DEN said...

Gee Doc, didn't mean to get personal ,but now that you mention it, we have males and females.

Some might be "Ladies" if they are 60 or over, "Women" from 20 to then and "Girls" under 20.

But all females.

Bleep out the bad stuff with #^*% and you probably won't get verbally slapped.

No guarantees of course.

David B. Benson said...

H#^*% O#^*% T#^*% W#^*%

ยบ¿carol said...

I was so enjoying Den's guessing on HOTW! Too funny.

Horny only Tuesdays & Wednesdays.

Bwahahaha..........

David B. Benson said...

I enjoyed Den's guesses and yours as well, Carol.

DEN said...

Wise guy in the house!

David B. Benson said...

Well, look who is being called HOTW...

DEN said...

I guess if that's the best you can do......

Carol, Hairy-Old-Tenmile-Weirdo

David B. Benson said...

My younger sister's only day at Sunday School (true story):

And when she came home, my mother asked her what she had learned that day.

"A song," my sister replied.

"Oh, do sing it!"

"Jesus loves me yes I know,
for the Bible tells me so.
He will wash me white as snow.
Dirty, dirty job for Jesus,"
with a big grin on her face at the last line.

DEN said...

Out of the mouths of babes.

DEN said...

From Micki's link posted earlier;

E&E News: Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) introduced legislation today that would ban construction of new coal-fired power plants that do not also have the technology to capture and sequester heat-trapping carbon dioxide.

The “Clean Coal Act” would address the approximately 150 proposed electric utilities now on the drawing board across the country.

While more than a dozen of the proposed plants could deploy so-called carbon capture and sequestration, the others would not. The additional CO2 from those plants and scientific warnings about climate change prompted Kerry’s bill.

“This bill is the number one solution to global warming,” Kerry said. “Unless we can build clean power plants, we should not be building them”

@ EarthPortal.com

Now if they could fix the ones we have already.

DEN said...

Not exactly "the number one solution" but a step in the right direction I suppose.

I really hate people and corporations that pollute without concience, like the doofus in a diesel pickup with big tires, steaming down the freeway at 70 mph in the left lane.

Four wheel cancer pumps.

micki said...

Back to the gender thing...

Females, women, girls, and ladies of the night....

Senior Official Linked to Escort Service Resigns

April 27, 2007 8:58 PM, ABC News

Brian Ross and Justin Rood Report:

Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias submitted his resignation Friday, one day after confirming to ABC News that he had been a customer of a Washington, D.C. escort service whose owner has been charged by federal prosecutors with running a prostitution operation. 
Tobias, 65, director of U.S. Foreign Assistance and administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), had previously served as the ambassador for the President's Emergency Fund for AIDS Relief.

A State Department press release late Friday afternoon said only he was leaving for "personal reasons."

On Thursday, Tobias told ABC News he had several times called the "Pamela Martin and Associates" escort service "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage."   Tobias, who is married, said there had been "no sex," and that recently he had been using another service "with Central Americans" to provide massages.
 
Tobias' private cell number was among thousands of numbers listed in the telephone records provided to ABC News by Jeane Palfrey, the woman dubbed the "D.C. Madam," who is facing the federal charges. In an interview to be broadcast on "20/20" next Friday, Palfrey says she intends to call Tobias and a number of her other prominent D.C. clients to testify at her trial.

"I'm sure as heck not going to be going to federal prison for one day, let alone, four to eight years, because I'm shy about bringing in the deputy secretary of whatever," Palfrey told ABC News.
Palfrey maintains she ran a sexual fantasy business that was legal and that if any of the women who were working for her had sex, they did so in violation of her rules and without her knowledge. She says there are a number of other prominent Washington, D.C. men who will be on her witness list.  "I'll bring every last one of them in if necessary," Palfrey said.

As the Bush administration's so-called "AIDS czar," Tobias was criticized for emphasizing faithfulness and abstinence over condom use to prevent the spread of AIDS.

David B. Benson said...

I'm glad he is leaving. Wrong approach to AIDS. Only reason.

micki said...

Okay...let's see...

Did this bush guy use a condom when he didn't have sex?

Will he have an AIDS test as he admonishes others to have?

Didn't he SIGN THE ABSTINENCE ONLY PLEDGE?

Why are the Repugs such hyprocrites about sex?

Oh...that's right...he was only getting a massage.

Definitely not getting the message......!

micki said...

Right. He's got the wrong approach.

HOTW!

DEN said...

DOH!!

DEN said...

Maher is on HBO, gotta go!

Party on!