Friday, August 24, 2007

FRIDAY FUNNIES






Thanks Alan!

My personal favorite is the cheney-puppeteer.

29 comments:

DEN said...

"We know Washington, DC, was very shaken last week when news that Karl Rove, the man whose mouthful advisory teets have fed so many Beltway insiders these past six and a half years, was capping the spigot and moving on. ... But before leaving for good -- and I use the term literally -- last week, Rove went on his farewell tour to defend himself and his president [on screen: Rove saying that Bush's critics are 'elite, effete snobs']. Yeah! Who are these effete, elite snobs who criticize Bush, these snobs with their Ivy League degrees, entertaining French guests at their family estates on the New England coast [on screen: a photo of Bush and French President Nicolas Sarkozy in Kennebunkport]... oh, right." --Jon Stewart (Watch video clip)

"But that was just the start. Chris Wallace got Karl Rove's Sunday morning talk show tour going [on screen: FNC's Wallace saying, 'Let's take a look at some of Karl Rove's greatest hits']. Ohh, I just bought that on K-Tel! 'Karl Rove's Greatest Hits,' including 'John McCain's Black Baby,' 'Max Cleland: The One-Limbed Pussy,' 'The Queers Are Coming,' and, of course, 'Schiavo-A-Go-Go.' No need to call now, your phones have already been tapped." --Jon Stewart

"But let's get through some other hits. Do decisive politics [on screen: Rove saying, 'What I try to do is serve a president whose attitude was let's find ways to bring the country together']. And that would be who? Oh, unless, oh my God, Karl Rove's been moonlighting for the president of Match.com" --Jon Stewart

"Indiana Congressman Mike Pence hit the nail on the head. If there's one thing that everyone I've talked to can agree on, it's that Iraq is exactly like an Indiana market in the summertime. ... This is the sort of place where people don't even lock their doors at night. Heck, most people don't even have doors" --Daily Show correspondent Rob Riggle

"What will the Republican presidential campaign look like without Karl Rove? Probably the same as it would have with him. Warnings about Mexicans, warnings about Arabs, and warnings about gays. They're trying ot come over the border, they're trying to come over the oceans, they're trying to come over your back." --Bill Maher

"I guess it's no wonder that a poll out this summer put 'None of the Above' over all of the other Republican candidates. And if 'None of the Above' does get the Republican nomination, you know two things will happen: a) the Democrats will find a way to lose to him, and b) Bush will try to call and congratulate him." --Bill Maher

"Michael Vick plead guilty to dog fighting charges and he may do jail time. ... They say that this guy went through more dogs than Bill Clinton" --David Letterman

"One of the president's daughters, the lovely Jenna Bush, is getting married. Now they're thinking, if they can just marry off Condoleezza Rice. Yea, it looks pretty good that Jenna's getting married, but first the guy has to be confirmed by Congress. ... It's going to be an expensive wedding. I guess it's no surprise, the $3 billion contract went to Halliburton." --David Letterman

From David Letterman's Top 10 Good Things About Marrying into the Bush Family: # 1: "Little chance you'll be the dumbest guy in the family"

"Presidential advisor Karl Rove has resigned. Were you aware about that -- he's resigned. He says he wants to spend more time leaking information about his family." --David Letterman

"You folks see the Democratic presidential debates over the weekend? Oh man, this debate, woah, it was very intense. The loser, the loser of the debate was taken out back and drown by Michael Vick." --David Letterman

"You like presidential birthdays? Oh! Who doesn't. Well, over the weekend former president Bill Clinton turned 61, 61! Happy birthday Bill. Bill enjoyed a romantic candlelight dinner and dancing, then he went home to Hillary" --David Letterman

"In just three weeks, General David Petraeus is scheduled to deliver his long awaited report on the Iraq surge. Will he say it's a success, thus vindicating the White House? Or will he say it's a failure, which somehow also will vindicate the White House? --Jon Stewart

micki said...


Legal liability for the Virginia Tech massacre: Inquiry questions Cho’s mental-health care history


...another aspect to the liability issue.

micki said...

Just as I expected. John Warner's "recommendation" for bringing some troops home before Christmas is a bunch of toothless f**king bulls**t.

SSDD.

micki said...


Warner said that if Bush were to announce a pullout of 5,000 or so troops it would be a “clear and decisive action to show that we mean business.” It would, he said, send “a sharp and clear message” that the Iraqi government could not rely on an open-ended commitment of U.S. forces.


Wow! A pullout of 5,000 "or so" troops! What a bold move.

DEN said...

Did you really expect anything different?

micki said...

The League of Conservation Voters is TRYING to set the tone for the general election.

LCV states we can have a "green" president in 2008. But it can only happen if candidates hear that they need to make global warming their top priority - and that means we need to make it a priority in the key primary states of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina.

Hajji, tell Obama to get crackin' on global warming as a priority.

micki said...

Did you really expect anything different?

Not really.

DEN said...

SS,DD (same shit,different day)

Never trust a repug war hawk trying to appease the masses with a token.

DEN said...

Fools are getting away with mountain topping for coal thanks to the neo-fashits. filling local streams and rivers with debris.

"On one hand, Avram Friedman couldn’t believe Duke Power’s announcement two years ago that it wanted to build a twin-unit coal plant near Hickory. Who builds coal plants anymore, he thought.

“It’s out of the question,” said Friedman, director of the Canary Coalition, a statewide clean air advocacy group based in Sylva.

On the other hand, Friedman could believe it. All over the country, utility giants are gearing up for an unprecedented round of power plant building, and coal was topping the list. Duke’s plans were among 159 new coal plants on the drawing board nationwide last year.

But before Duke could start building, it had to get permission from the N.C. Public Utility Commission, one of the conditions of being a regulated monopoly. Environmental groups across Western North Carolina rallied troops to oppose the permit.

“There is strong resistance to building new coal plants,” said Stephen Smith, executive director Southern Alliance for Clean Energy. “It’s a technology that will lead to worse global warming, and that is something the (utility commission) should take into consideration.”

In reality, though, it’s not something they take into consideration. There’s a two-part litmus test for approving new plants in North Carolina: whether the energy is needed and whether the plant being proposed is the cheapest way to get there. Global warming, acid rain, mountain-top removal — all by-products of coal — aren’t part of the equation."

@ Smoky Mountain News

DEN said...

Holy Universe!

""Not only has no one ever found a void this big, but we never even expected to find one this size," said Lawrence Rudnick of the University of Minnesota. Rudnick, along with Shea Brown and Liliya R. Williams, also of the University of Minnesota, reported their findings in a paper accepted for publication in the Astrophysical Journal."

LINK

micki said...

Juan Cole -- Military Coup Planned for Iraq?

Hoo boy. Nothing like spending gazillion dollars and thousands of lives to get rid of one strongman for another.

DEN said...

The set up:

WASHINGTON, Aug. 23 — A stark assessment released Thursday by the nation’s intelligence agencies depicts a paralyzed Iraqi government unable to take advantage of the security gains achieved by the thousands of extra American troops dispatched to the country this year.

@ TNYT

Malaki was talking to "Bad" Iran and Syria, BAD Malaki, Bad, now you have to go.

We NEED the oil!

DEN said...

Lew spells it out:

It's interesting how those who believe in force as an article of faith eventually go the whole way, believing that the lessening of force is never the answer, and that all the problems in the world call for one and only one answer: ever more scary threats of violence. Force, for this crowd, is the great organizing principle of society, the answer to all existing problems now, in the past, and in the future. It becomes for them the overriding social and political salve, and there are no considerations that can possibly refute this contention.

We saw the extreme result of this mentality in the Soviet Union, which pursued the path of force for 72 years, and blamed all existing failures not on socialism but on the failure to impose this system without any misgivings or regrets. A dictator with ultimate power can impose such a system until the whole of society crumbles into a heap, and still not be willing to face the errors of his ways. Force is an article of faith. To embrace freedom means to concede the limits of power.

@ Lew Rockwell

Carey said...

John Warner's "recommendation" for bringing some troops home before Christmas is a bunch of toothless f**king bulls**t.

Uh-huh Micki. You said it.


We have a huge problem here in San Diego. A strong rumor with roots in reality has hit. Clear Channel is taking down our local Air America station, KLSD. (Yeah, that's really the call letters.)


It's said that's it's about falling advertising dollars, but that ain't it. They're doing good business. It's political, pure and simple.

We're in real trouble. A protest is called for Monday a.m. Emails galore shall arrive at the station's and Clear Channel's offices. Advertisers will also be contacted by listeners.

Oh my gosh. What will I do if we loose this? I've become somewhat dependent on Air America.

ºCºarol said...

OH, MY GOSH! WE LOST POWER LAST NIGHT AROUND 10:30 How awful to live without power. I pity the future.

It JUST came back at 4:40 EDT. Couldn't brush my teeth, couldn't wash my hair, couldn't cook or drink anything, didn't dare use the toilet...if you know what I mean!

This morning I drove to Stockbridge just to get a cup of coffee. I feel like scum with the super high humidity and dirty hair! Blech. There's another storm rolling in right now. I quake! the TV news is telling folks at MSU in Lansing to seek shelter. I guess a tornado was spotted. Yikes!

I'm starved and we need beer!!!! :)

In the meantime, we've been waiting since 1:30 for the TV people to show up to set the thing up. We were worried about that with no power. Now we have power and they're over an hour and a half late! What to do? We need to get food. Too late to cook anything and I'm starved.

Well, that's my story. I'll see if I can catch up with my reading before the other storm gets here, which I can hear rumbling.

P.S. For those that don't live in the country when you lose your power you lose your water. DON'T FLUSH THE TOILET, DON'T FLUSH THE TOILET! (which means try NOT to use the toilet)

micki said...

Carol -- You would have had a tough time as a companion to Étienne Brulé, Jean Nicolet, or Jacques Marquette.

Carey -- Oh, no! I hope you don't lose AAR KLSD to sports talk, or whatever.

Carey said...

We don't know much of anything right now about what's going on with Air America locally.

Muy frightened, though. The station's signal has been weakened in the past few days too. Not looking good.


God Carol. I've had to go without flushing a few times. Yikes! That's a sticky situation.

Punctuation mark-smile that everyone except me knows how to key in should appear here.


A few days ago Thom Hartmann spoke of a poll showing Edwards beating all Repugs. He then talked about how Edwards is the most feared candidate by corporations. Which is why, Thom explained, you don't see much mainstream corporate media coverage of Edwards, like on MSNBC and such.

He's a trial lawyer who made his mark working for the small man.



Bill Maher spoke the other day about his concern that the right wing has something on the Clintons. Or that they could make something up. Maher thought it could possibly be a bimbo coming forward. Bill's not running, he noted, but that doesn't stop the shallow press from feasting on it. Naturally the blame would fall on Hillary, as it has done already.


I heard or read somewhere that police departments are reducing the amount of bullets used in training exercises. They've run short of ammo since it's all going to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Now we're ill-training our police for the sake of oil money?

ºCºarol said...

Guess there was a tornado on the other side of Lansing. Lots of storm everywhere, so much so that the local TV stations actually kept a map up and yakked about it all as the weather was going on for over an hour! You NEVER see that here. Last time I saw constant weather on the TV was in Oklahoma City in 1973 in the middle of 24 tornados and holing up in a restaurant! I was scared out of my mind!!!

And the TV setter-uppers didn't show! Bob made two calls and no one knows what happened. To think Bob left work early to be here, giving up pay. *sigh* No paid time off where he works.

It's a good thing our son put a splitter on the satellite box years ago and hooked the bedroom TV up. I've had to stand in the LR with the controller while Bob yells, "Put the guide on." Then, "Go up, up, up. Now go to the right. Now hit info." I KNEW yesterday that would happen when the delivery men took out the old, sick TV.

I had to fix the garage doors because WE HAD TO OPEN them MANUALLY! Egads! The trick was to get it to engage once again. Was almost an S.A.T. test but I finally figured it out.

What a totally, totally wasted day for me. Ugh.

Ok, off to other things.

ºCºarol said...

Damn, I meant to hit "edit" and hit "publish". Saw a few things I wanted to change. Oh, well.

DEN said...

Carol, some days you get the elevator,
some days you get the shaft.

Too much weather back there for me.

micki said...

A small victory against the (amoral, immoral) head-in-the-sand global warming naysayers


Federal Judge Orders Production of Suppressed Scientific Reports on Global Warming Impacts

OAKLAND, Calif. -- The Bush administration was rebuked today by a Federal judge for suppressing scientific reports on the impacts of global warming on the United States. In response to a lawsuit brought last year by conservation organizations, Federal District Court Judge Saundra Armstrong issued an order finding the Bush administration in violation of the Global Change Research Act of 1990 for failing to produce an updated Research Plan and a National Assessment as required by the statute.

DEN said...

Oh goody!

But will it stop them.

We have seen the after effects of the voracious appetite for coal, tough industry to pare down.

Not enough legislation on the planet to reign them in.

Coal, the other TOXIC substance.

º¿carol said...

BuzzFlash Hypocrite of the Week
August 24, 2007
(they're really mad this week, it's a long one)

George W. Bush

Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

There is a hypocrisy and sociopathology of the soul that is so grotesque, it is like metastasized cancer. Such is the affliction that infests George W. Bush.

It is difficult for Americans who feel a kinship to their fellow citizens, a reverence for the Constitution, and a respect for decency to comprehend the tortured inner being of the man currently occupying the White House.

In just a few short days, he again exploited our U.S. troops by claiming that the thousands upon thousands of them who were killed or seriously injured will have died or suffered in vain if more don't die to avenge them.

He has claimed that we must support the "mission" of the troops, when he has sent them on a "mission" that changes daily based on the whims of his pollsters and the deteriorating situation in the Middle East. It is the most betraying of hypocrisies, because our GIs are there at the order of their Commander-in-Chief. This is not their war; it is the war of the Neo-Cons, whose titular leader is George W. Bush.

He has compared the Iraq War to Vietnam, after years of denying that there was any relationship. His comparison is even more hypocritical because he and his Machiavellian Vice President both were too cowardly to serve in combat in Vietnam.

Furthermore, the end result of the U.S. departure from Vietnam only proves that it was the correct decision from a perspective of Republican multinational global capitalism. Vietnam has become a major source of cheap labor for U.S. companies, abandoning factories at home to construct them in a nation where we senselessly lost more than 50,000 soldiers fighting to uphold a now-disproven theory that there would be a domino effect of Communism in Southeast Asia. The only Southeast Asian nation that U.S. has strained relationships with currently is the military dictatorship of Burma.

But the Vietnam War analogy reveals much about the twisted psychology of George W. Bush. It is not about "mission"; it is about "winning" a war no matter what the costs, even if it is an entirely misguided enterprise.

When Bush now trots out the Vietnam analogy, after years of swatting it away like a pesky Texas mosquito, it is his appeal (written by his handlers) to the "Victory Culture." It is an attempt to emotionally evoke the myth of the "noble Christian" taming the less civilized beings of the world, the sense of divine "manifest destiny" that is part of the myth of our conquest of America.

Once Saddam was deposed and no WMDs were found, Bush had fulfilled his initial "mission." Since that time, his handlers have improvised new ones that change with the wind.

There long ago stopped being any mission in Iraq other than the "America as lone superpower cannot afford to lose to a ragtag bunch of swarthy Arabs" mission.

Even Bush's hand-chosen puppet, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki asserted that he would "find friends elsewhere" if Bush and others continued to try to displace him as the "democratically" elected head of the Iraqi government, such as it is.

As was the case with Vietnam, the best thing we can do to repair Iraq is to leave it.

It will eventually heal itself. Time takes care of that, as it did with Vietnam.

But America is so devastated by years of Bush hypocrisy and the darkness of Cheney's soul that it will take us decades for our own nation to recover from their destructive leadership.

Until next week, remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.

* * *

This is the fourth time George W. Bush has won the HOTW Award in 2007. Bush also won it on May 4, 2007, February 2, 2007, and January 12, 2007. Bush has won the HOTW Award numerous times.

©¿©¬arol said...

Micki, your info about John Warner (just looked at another article about it and I had this thought) made me think there might be a pattern here. Seems every couple weeks, or every month, or even every so often some repug pops up as the top Google headline, saying he's come out against the war, or disagreed with Bush about something or other. He gets press, I sneer, then that's the end of it.

Warner is the latest. Now I wish I had a better memory to try to remember the other repugs that "broke" with the evil ones over something. I'd better write this one down so when the next one pops up I'll have a chart started. :)

Carey said...

Yes, that pathetic and insensitive comparison of Iraq and Vietnam by Bush in front of the VFW was, once again, almost too much to bear.

Well, I haven't seen Olbermann yet tonight, but I'm willing to wager that the NIE, Sen. Warner's proclamation, and now, the Joint Chief of Staff's report all are viewed as obstacles to the massive public relations campaign foisted upon us this summer painting the surge as "working".

Warner is inconsequential as he'll still vote as Bush desires no matter what. Bush keeps trying new tactics to hide the same shit. It seems neverending.

The 2008 campaign is looming ever closer. Really, in a few secs now we'll be in the primary horse race. Knuckle down stuff. Iraq, I so completely dread, may be shoved to the backburner as less sexy to print.

No it can't. There's too much bloodshed and suffering--especially as we look forward to entering the holiday season. Perhaps another holy season amidst despair and agony might be the ticket to finding the necessary momentum to stop the killing.

micki said...

Well, Carol, for starters...remember back in January when John Warner, Susan Collins, Norm Coleman, Richard Lugar, John Sununu, Lisa Murkowski, Whatzhisname Voinovich, (Repugs et al) were all tsk-tsking about bush's proposed troop increase (euphemistically called a surge) and vowed to do what was right -- then KISSED BUSH'S ASS AND GAVE HIM WHAT HE WANTED!

They all got face-time on the news, a meeting with bush to kiss his ring, continued to pretend to consider a saner course, then extended an olive branch to bush to show the troops as well as our enemies that we stand united as a nation.

That's how they work! Orwellian. Works like a charm with the sheeple.

©¿©¬arol said...

Thanks, Micki, and yes I remember that bunch. I'll add them to the chart.

micki said...

Oh, then there was the "confrontation with bush" over how to best try and treat terror suspects.

Back when the Repugs were in control of the Congress, it was yammer, yammer, yammer that we must give terror suspects more rights.

Then, BINGO -- bush pretty much gets what he demanded.

micki said...

Oh...and then there's all the alleged opposition to No Child Left Behind.

...and the immigration bill.

Aw, shoot. bush is a failure and the Repugs still fall into line behind him and his failed policies.