Friday, November 02, 2007

FRIDAY FUNNIES





























Thanks Alan!

.

41 comments:

DEN said...

"Dick Cheney had an awkward moment tonight at the White House Halloween party. He went dressed as Darth Vader and at the party, he ran into the real Darth Vader who was dressed as Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"There was another big Democratic debate last night in Philadelphia. There were seven candidates on the stage debating. Seven, which sadly for Joe Biden is the biggest crowd he's ever drawn." --Jay Leno

"Boy, the other candidates really went after Hillary Clinton. Did you see it? The only Democrat who didn't jump on Hillary was her husband Bill." --Jay Leno

"With the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, restroom enthusiast Idaho Senator Larry Craig will argue before an appeals court that his foot tapping ... was protected speech. He's calling himself 'Lord of the Toilet Dance.' ... I'm all for free speech, except in the men's room. In the men's room, I believe in no speech." --Jay Leno

"It looks like oil may soon hit a $100 a barrel. And today, President Bush said, 'Well how much without the barrel?'" --Jay Leno

"The president of Indonesia has released his first music album. ... It's called 'My Longing For You.' He actually wrote the songs and performed them. And now, President Bush also putting out his album. It's called 'I Sing Gooder Than Him.'" --Jay Leno

"Forbes Magazine just released their list of the top earning dead celebrities. ... Elvis is number one. Number two dead celebrity, John Lennon. Number three, surprisingly, Larry King" --Jay Leno

"Last night during the Democratic presidential debate, Senator Barack Obama accused Hillary Clinton of frequently changing positions. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'I wish.'" --Conan O'Brien

DEN said...

"We hear FEMA members are all getting dressed up as reporters this year. ... You know about this latest FEMA controversy, this is just unbelievable. In response to the fires out here in CA, FEMA had a phoney press conference and they had FEMA members posing as reporters asking them easy questions. They had no reporters there, just FEMA members. As opposed to a disaster where it's all reporters and no FEMA members." --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney went hunting this week. As part of his entourage he has an ambulance. This is true, he has an ambulance with him wherever he goes. This is very clever. See what he does is, he uses the ambulance to flush lawyers out into the open and then..." --Jay Leno

"Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is in a little trouble this week, little trouble for saying marijuana is not a drug, it is a leaf, it is a plant. He said marijuana is not a drug and today his approval rating in California, 99.99%" --Jay Leno

"Anybody here for the marathon this Sunday in New York City, the annual marathon. What a tremendous event, like 40,000 runners. And you know they have to have about 400 portable toilets along the route of the marathon. You know what portable toilets are, as Larry Craig told us, they're singles bars." --David Letterman

"How about Gerald Ford? Do you remember when Gerald Ford was president? And apparently after he was out of office, he was retired quite a long time before the man passed away, and he did a series of interviews with reporters and he said I'm going to tell you a lot of things now but don't print them, don't publish this until I'm gone. And now there's a new book with that title, 'Gerald Ford: Write it When I'm Gone,' and the insights and revelations are amazing, take a look. [Clip of announcer saying: "On September 8, 1974 I ended our long national nightmare by pardoning Richard Nixon. It was a difficult decision, but Nixon made it easier by offering $500 in cash and one night with Pat. This has been Gerald Ford, Write it when I'm gone."] Don't kid yourself, I hear Pat was a bobcat" --David Letterman

DEN said...

Mark Fiore

micki said...

Ya know, I really do think we're a nation of fatuous fools.

I read this morning that the talkie shows are focused on whether six guys ganged up on a girl, does Elizabeth Kucinich have a tongue piercing, does Mike Huckabee know (for sure) if man was originally fashioned from Adam's rib, and other such nonsense.

...and bush continues to get his way.

WTF?

micki said...

I am very serious regarding this question:

Can anyone explain the logic to me of this argument on the Mukasey nomination...the WH bloviators, including King George, claim that Mukasey does not want any statement of his to give the terrorists a window into which techniques we may use and which ones we may not use. That is the reason that it is imperative that Mukasey refuse to give his opinion on the legality of waterboarding.

I don't get it! The civilized world regards waterboarding torture -- torture is counter to the Geneva Conventions. If Mukasey says waterboarding is illegal, it won't mean jackshit to any terrorists -- but it would put those who sanction, approve and use waterboarding into legal jeopardy.

What am I missing here?

My head is EXPLODING AGAIN!

carol said...

Jon Stewart went after the waterboarding issue and Mukasey last night. Check it out. Man, I LOVE hs show! The whole country should be required to watch it.

{ò,ó}arol said...

Rudy’s Glass House by
Joe Conason


....the contents of his private testimony before the 9/11 Commission....private testimony, marked “commission sensitive/unclassified,” were nevertheless to be locked away until the convenient date of December 2008. According to Mr. Barrett, nobody associated with the 9/11 Commission could explain how or why that decision had been made.

Locked up for the duration of the presidential campaign? I know why, because our government is crooked, the media is for sale and our courts wouldn't know justice if it were nailed to a 2x4 and they were whacked between the eyes with it.

Greatest nation in the world? We're such a shit hole. Every day I read stories that more than prove that.

{ò,ó}arol said...

Of course, I couldn't HTML a link to Conason. Some sites just won't let me do that.

http://snipurl.com/1t28g

micki said...

Yeah, and not only that, Carol, but...

Rudy Mussolini uses the "I'm not familiar" with waterboarding meme, just as Mukasey did.

That is unacceptable.

Imagine him being asked, "What's your position on gay marriage now that you're running for president? -- "Oh, I'm not real familiar with gay marriage, I've been married three times but only to women..."

Or, "How would you balance the budget?" -- "Oh, I don't know, I've never been real good with the money thing."

hahaha -- what a goon.

DEN said...

Think thats bad? How about this:

WASHINGTON -- Members of Congress pushed the Bush administration on Friday to accelerate efforts to stem a rising tide of home foreclosures.

House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank and other Democrats on the panel told administration officials time was critical, given statistics showing that 2 million subprime mortgages will reset in coming months at much higher monthly payments, greatly raising the risks of defaults.

"Speed is important," said Frank, D-Mass. "Time is of the essence."
LINK
********************************

Welcome to the school of NON-responsibility, cannot pay your mortgage? Let Congress get you of the hook there doofus.

Personal responsibility= 0%
Government responsibility= 100%

What a country!

DEN said...

Micki, anyone that wears womens clothes while being male, ain't quite all there.

Drag Queen Boy for prez!

micki said...

A trip down memory lane...JCPenney catalog from 1977, with priceless commentary

micki said...

Den, maybe Rudy should consult that 1977 catalog for a new fashion statement!

DEN said...

Disco duds!

Love the matching swimsuits, what is she looking at?

Know what the JC stands for?

Just Crap

Worlds leader in wasting trees for catalogs in the mail, duh!

DEN said...

Dear Den,

Next Tuesday, the Senate Judiciary Committee will vote on Michael Mukasey's nomination to be the next U.S. Attorney General.

Our country was founded on democratic principles that reject torture, and no one in our country is above the law -- not even the President. We have seen the Bush Administration repeatedly undermine our democratic values by dodging accountability, hiding its practices from congressional oversight, and prioritizing unilateral presidential power.

President Bush has kept the courts, Congress, and the American people in the dark about activities in the White House for nearly eight years. Our democracy cannot afford to have another Attorney General who has little regard for the law -- we need an Attorney General who will uphold the Constitution and not bend it to fit the President's agenda.

This administration's view that the President is above the law not only threatens our fundamental civil liberties, but our position as a world leader as well. I grew up during a time when the world looked to the United States as a beacon of freedom that rejected tyrannical principles. Unfortunately, our leadership is quickly eroding.

I'm proud that Congress passed the Leahy Law, which requires our government to cut off assistance to any foreign security force unit that has committed gross human rights violations. If our own Attorney General, whose role it is to uphold the law, cannot bring himself to denounce waterboarding, how will other nations view such a double standard?

Some issues are so critical, so fundamental to who and what we are as a nation, that we must act on our convictions -- and this is one of them. America does not torture. We do not inflict cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment. Certainly, we must do everything we can to prevent attacks on our nation, using appropriate interrogation techniques that require extensive questioning and thorough investigation. Waterboarding, however, is not one of these techniques.

In his confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Michael Mukasey was simply asked if waterboarding is illegal. The fact that he could not provide a simple "Yes" to this question raises serious doubts about his ability to protect our basic rights.

My number one priority is to restore strong leadership and independence to an agency whose morale and image have been severely tainted. I wish that I could support Mr. Mukasey's nomination, but I cannot.

Accordingly, when Michael Mukasey's nomination comes to a vote before the Judiciary Committee on Tuesday, I will vote against it.

Sincerely,

Patrick Leahy
U.S. Senator
********************************

Ya think he is a bit fed up?

David B. Benson said...

davidcorn.com seems to have comments working now...

DEN said...

Yea and the capt is already there.

Get a life pal!

micki said...

Mukasey's got it made in Committee.

Schumer and Feinstein are giving him the "thumbs up" -- and will ask questions later.

Bellingham doesn't have any 35-story buildings, or I'd go jump out a window.

micki said...

Den, what's the definition of a groupie?

micki said...

Holy smokes. I don't much care for the Jersulam Post, but...

The Jerusalem Post Internet Edition

'USAF struck Syrian nuclear site'
JPost.com Staff , THE JERUSALEM POST Nov. 2, 2007

The September 6 raid over Syria was carried out by the US Air Force, the Al-Jazeera Web site reported Friday. The Web site quoted Israeli and Arab sources as saying that two US jets armed with tactical nuclear weapons carried out an attack on a suspected nuclear site under construction.

The sources were quoted as saying that Israeli F-15 and F-16 jets provided cover for the US planes.

The sources added that each US plane carried one tactical nuclear weapon and that the site was hit by one bomb and was totally destroyed.

At the beginning of October, Israel's military censor began to allow the local media to report on the raid without attributing their report to foreign sources. Nevertheless, details of the strike have remained clouded in mystery.

On October 28, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert told the cabinet that he had apologized to Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan if Israel violated Turkish airspace during a strike on an alleged nuclear facility in Syria last month.

In a carefully worded statement that was given to reporters after the cabinet meeting, Olmert said: "In my conversation with the Turkish prime minister, I told him that if Israeli planes indeed penetrated Turkish airspace, then there was no intention thereby, either in advance or in any case, to - in any way - violate or undermine Turkish sovereignty, which we respect."

The New York Times reported on October 13 that Israeli planes struck at what US and Israeli intelligence believed was a partly constructed nuclear reactor in Syria on September 6, citing American and foreign officials who had seen the relevant intelligence reports.

According to the report, Israel carried out the report to send a message that it would not tolerate even a nuclear program in its initial stages of construction in any neighboring state.

On October 17, Syria denied that one of its representatives to the United Nations told a panel that an Israeli air strike hit a Syrian nuclear facility and added that "such facilities do not exist in Syria."

A UN document released by the press office had provided an account of a meeting of the First Committee, Disarmament and International Security, in New York, and paraphrased an unnamed Syrian representative as saying that a nuclear facility was hit by the raid.

However, the state-run Syrian Arab News Agency, SANA said media reports, apparently based on a UN press release, misquoted the Syrian diplomat.

++++++++

Whole lotta confusion going on -- and denials and counter-denials, and well....BS

DEN said...

Micki, you simply cannot jump out a window, I forbid it.

Groupie=is a person who, while he/she may be a fan at some level, seeks intimacy (most often physical, sometimes emotional) with a famous person. (from WIKI)

micki said...

ooops...I know how to spell that word...

JERUSALEM

DEN said...

Oh and if it makes you feel better I wrote her(Feinstein) a nasty-gram.

GRRRRR!

David B. Benson said...

Orme, TN, trucks in water for its 145 residents. They have H2O between 6 and 9pm daily.

A taste of the future...

carey said...

WTF? Micki,

Everyone's too scared or too lazy to critically think for themselves.

When you sit back and notice, at least once or twice a day, it never fails to shock the system.

I heard an interview with Naomi Wolf (sp?) on the Randi Rhodes show. What an interesting lady. Gerald, you'd be particularly fascinated with her. She surveyed, in a well-researched and documented work, the development and existing preconditions for fascism to ripen. She made up a list of ten elements common to the various totalitarian regimes.

You know the rest. It's here! Fascism!!!! She could be your twin Gerald.

I didn't do it justice in my description because I'm hurried. The interview was fascinating and the book sounds like one we'd be very interested in. It comes to the same conclusions we've all come to.

It's not good.

David B. Benson said...

Another taste of the future:

Flooding traps 300,000 in Mexico

David B. Benson said...

Here is an idea from about 30 years ago. If we had done it then we would be better off today:

Bloomberg calls for tax on carbon emissions

Please encourage your senators to create this tax.

carey said...

Shoot, Micki. I've done a little harassing over at Feinstein's local office too. Made my position clear.

Eff this crap anyway. How dare they try this.

They really want torture.


If you ponder why, you end up in fuzzy land. They are psycho, afterall. I cannot figure this torture thing completely out. Randi Rhodes tried to, she thought they just wanted to prop up their show.

I don't know guys. This one stumps me. Why do they want torture so much?

Carey said...

Oh my goodness. Schumer will support Mukasey.


David,

Excellent for Bloomberg! Ten thousand bravos.

Carey said...

F-WORD!

So will Feinstein.

Carey said...

I see Micki already knew. I didn't. That's what I get for being otherwise occupied.

So, it's a slam dunk. Mukasey.

Shit, gaul damn it.

Like climate change, it's all happening so fast. Before our eyes. There's no crawl about it.

º¿carol said...

Micki, the Penney's catalog was great! I'm still laughing! My goodness! I'm going to send it to a few chosen people that I'm sure will laugh their asses off like I did! lol! Phew!

•c•arol said...

Sorry, Dr. B, but I'm not encouraging any of my senators to create a carbon tax. No way, no how. Uh, uh. :( All my friends are peasants like me.

David B. Benson said...

Carol --- Read what Bloomberg says.

Revenue-neutral carbon tax.

Micki --- Since you can't jump out a 35th story window, how about finding a contact for the Seattle Office of Sustainability and Environment (or something like that)?

They are the ones who put on the recent mayor's conference where Bloomberg (and Clinton) spoke. I have a suggestion (in the form of an e-mail, and they might be the best way to get the message to 110 mayor's offices.

David B. Benson said...

Carol --- How about starting with a tax on coal? It is dirty, pollutes via emissions of mercury, selenium, etc. It is the worst offender regarding carbon dioxide.

micki said...

Seattle Office of Sustainability and Environment

Dr. B -- I believe the director of the Sustainabilty office is STEVE NICHOLS

You might want to call the phone number below and get the email address specifically for him...

Department Directory Listing
Sustainability & Environment, Office of

Seattle Municipal Tower
700 5th Avenue, Suite 2748
Seattle, WA 98124-4729
206-615-0817 phone
206-684-3013 fax

Internet (PAN) Address:  
http://seattle.gov/environment/

Mailing Address (if different)
 http://www.cityofseattle.net/directory/POBox.htm

micki said...

Maybe I'm missing something here, but it appears to me that Bloomberg's carbon tax is a good idea.

The way he explains it (if I understand) is that a carbon tax would be offset by a decrease in income and other taxes.

So, he's suggesting that you tax carbon, not the work! Makes sense to me.

A pox on taxaphobia!

micki said...

Dr. B -- I'm in on the carbon tax. I'll write Maria and Patty and give them my input.

micki said...

United States Conference of Mayors

Dr. B -- Here's another possibility for contacting U.S. mayors -- I think this conference includes mayors of cities of over 30,000 population.

The U.S. Conference of Mayors
Tom Cochran, Executive Director
1620 Eye Street, NW, Washington, DC 20006
Tel. 202.293.7330 ~ Fax 202.293.2352

info@usmayors.org

micki said...

Be sure to take a look at the link @ the U.S. Conference of Mayors -- it's worth it.

Alan said...

the top 100 influential U.S. liberals

This was interesting, considering it comes from an overseas source. Definitely didn't agree with all of 'em, especially the inclusion of Arnold Schwarzenegger at all, much less in the top ten. Markos made it at #12.
*admitting I only looked at the first 20