Friday, November 09, 2007

FRIDAY FUNNIES




40 comments:

DEN said...

Mark Fiore

DEN said...

"The writers are going on strike on Monday. ... They are calling this the toughest time for comedy writing since those three weeks back in the '90s when Bill Clinton stopped dating." --Jay Leno

"Hey, don't forget to turn your clocks back an hour this weekend. You get an extra hour of sleep. It's kind of like watching a Fred Thompson speech." --Jay Leno

"Anybody notice that for daylight saving, the change is later this year? It was supposed to be last week. According to the New York Times, Congress made this decision in part from pressure from the candy lobby, who wanted an extra hour for trick or treating. Isn't that unbelievable? I mean, the research lobby can't get stem cell research through. The consumer lobby, we can't get lead out of toys. But by God, when it comes to an extra hour of eating sugar, the candy lobby has the power." --Jay Leno

"Another prominent Republican has been caught in a gay sex scandal. This time it's a state representative from the state of Washington, a man named Richard Curtis. He admitted to dressing up in women's clothing, having sex with a guy twice in one night, but he says he's not gay. ... Fortunately, the other guy was. ... Anyway, Representative Curtis resigned from office yesterday. Out of force of habit, Larry Craig's wife is standing by him." --Jay Leno

"All the other Democratic candidates are continuing to attack Hillary Clinton. In fact, in the debate the other night, they accused Hillary Clinton of having things both ways. Which is ironic, 'cause Bill's been trying to talk her into that for years." --Jay Leno

"Karen Hughes, a former adviser to President Bush, is leaving the State Department after working the last two years trying to improve the rest of the world's opinion of America. Congratulations on a job well done. Time to bring out that 'Mission Accomplished' sign again." --Jay Leno

"Today, President Bush said, 'The Iraqis are taking back Iraq.' Then Dick Cheney said, 'But not the oil, right?'" --Jay Leno

"People who are absolutely upset are the folks in the State Department. They want to send them to Iraq. There's a lot of empty positions that need to be filled over there. But the people at the State Department are revolting about this because they say it's dangerous over there. I haven't heard that. ... President Bush is furious. He said, 'If you didn't want to go to a war zone, you shouldn't have joined the State Department. You should have joined the Texas Air National Guard.'" --Bill Maher

"Did you see this Democratic debate this week? Wow! The six men all piled onto Hillary Clinton. It was like a porn movie. They were claiming she's not a real Democrat because she might actually win something." --Bill Maher

"There was yet another closeted gay Republican in the news. A state representative from the state of Washington got caught paying for sex at an adult book store while he was on a legislative retreat. Is that what they're calling it now? ... He was dressed as a woman in red stockings and a black sequin lingerie top. Or, as Rudy Giuliani calls it, Casual Friday." --Bill Maher

"A sixth grade woman teacher from Nebraska ... is on the run with her 13-year-old boyfriend. I know that sounds bad, but consider this, he is a child and she didn't leave him behind." --Bill Maher

"Here's the kind of thing that makes this country great. A guy in Tennessee was in a food eating competition. ... He wins the competition. He ate 103 hamburgers in eight minutes. ... But you think about it, this has been a hell of a year for Al Gore. One thing after another." --David Letterman

"Did you hear about this? There was a guy arrested in a hotel. ... He's in a hotel and he's trying to have sex with a ... bicycle. Please get some help, Senator Craig. I am begging you!" --David Letterman

"During the Democratic debate Tuesday night, Senator Joe Biden criticized Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani, saying, 'There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11.' Giuliani later responded, saying, 'Joe Biden sucks 9/11.'" --Seth Meyers

"Hillary Clinton on Thursday visited Wellesley College and told students, 'This all-women's college prepared me to compete in the all-boys club of presidential politics.' Although she said afterwards, it was hard to speak at a school that was so pro-Bush." --Seth Meyers

"Pat Philbin, the man who staged a fake FEMA news conference on the California wildfires last week, has lost his promotion because of the event. Which begs the question, 'What does it take to actually get fired from FEMA?'" --Amy Poehler

DEN said...

Ther now that you are all humored up, go visit Democracy Now for an interview with Dennis Kucinich and Howard Zinn.

Both good interviews(might take a bit for them to put them up on their site tho)

micki said...

Regarding the writers strike, are their picket signs blank?

micki said...

Under the dark of night, Mukasey wins with the help of these friggin jerks, with a (D) after their names:

Chuck Schumer, Dianne Feinstein, Evan Bayh, Thomas Carper, Mary Landrieu and Ben Nelson.

º¿carol said...

Wow! That last cartoon is great! Jesus and Bush! So irreverent that I love it!

micki said...

Justice expired in the United States last night.

micki said...

Islamabad, Nov 9 - Former Pakistan prime minister Benazir Bhutto was formally arrested Friday and served with a three-day detention order after she attempted to slip past a security cordon around her residence to attend a protest rally in adjacent Rawalpindi.

'She had attempted to escape with her secretary Naheed Khan but was spotted by some policemen and was again sent back to her residence,' a police official told reporters, adding that now she had been 'formally arrested'.

micki said...

Things you don't need to know:

octothorpe   \AHK-tuh-thorp\   noun
          : the symbol #

I had no idea that pound sign on the telephone is called an octothorpe.

Learn something new every day!

micki said...

I just talked to my brother. He said wouldn't it be great if Michael Mukasey ended up being the equivalent surprise that David Souter was on the Supreme Court.

We can hope.

Carey said...

I come to you with great sadness. All of liberal San Diego is in mourning. Our radio station, KLSD Air America, has died. This morning was our last "meeting".

It's almost too much to bear, the loss of this very close knit community. We will stay in touch. It will not be the same.

I'm in tears.

Carey said...

Thank God for you guys.

DEN said...

DWF, the common sense alternative to the MSM.

Carey said...

I have to say something really personal. This loss feels a little like the loss of the magazine. Everything's suddenly stripped away.

The sadness will go away. My big sister is in town from Connecticut. We're going to have a sister lunch today.

Mukasey, now this. We knew it was coming but, oy vay.

micki said...

Is there any way to listen to Thom Hartmann on-line? Or Rachel Maddow? Or the others?

I don't always catch Hartmann's show, but when I do, I always learn something.

Enjoy your lunch, Carey!

DEN said...

Air America

DEN said...

OH BOY more oil!!

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (AP) -- A huge offshore oil discovery could raise Brazil's petroleum reserves by a whopping 40 percent and boost this country into the ranks of the world's major exporters, officials said.

The government-run oil company Petroleo Brasileiro SA, or Petrobras, said the new "ultra-deep" Tupi field could hold as much as 8 billion barrels of recoverable light crude, sending Petrobras shares soaring and prompting predictions that Brazil could join the world's "top 10" oil producers.

Petrobras President Sergio Gabrielli said Thursday the oil from ultradeep areas, including the Tupi field, would give Brazil the world's eighth-largest oil and gas reserves.

"Brazil's reserves will lie somewhere between those of Nigeria and those of Venezuela," Gabrielli said at a news conference.

Petrobras says the Tupi field, off Brazil's southeastern Atlantic coast, has between 5 billion and 8 billion barrels -- equivalent to 40 percent of all the oil ever discovered in Brazil.

Brazil's total oil reserves currently rank 17th in the world, with 14.4 billion barrels of oil equivalent, Gabrielli said.
@ CNN
...................................
I wonder, if we pump out all the oil, will the Earth cave in?

David B. Benson said...

No, Den, it will burn up.

Remember, God gave Noah the rainbow sign...

micki said...

I thought that rainbow was a symbol for diversity. :-)

micki said...

Santa Will Need to Find a New Country for Outsourcing his Toymaking

This list of recalled TOYS is staggering....and how much falls through the cracks?

David B. Benson said...

D**n. Double d**n. Ken Salazar's Harvesting Energy bill didn't make it into the omnibus food and farm bill.

Thrice d**n...

ò¿óarol said...

Study finds dangerous chemicals in common goods

A project to test 35 people in seven states, including five Michiganders, for industrial chemicals common in household products found that all those tested had the toxic substances in their bodies.

The chemicals shouldn’t be in humans, but most people don’t know they’re being exposed to them, said Dr. Ted Schettler of Ann Arbor, science director of the Science and Environmental Health Network and physician for the study.

ò¿óarol said...

I FORGOT TO TEST THE LINK! Comes up as an error. I wonder why certain places just won't HTML for me. I don't think it's me. I'll post the article. So what it chews up some space.

ò¿óarol said...

Study finds dangerous chemicals in common goods
5 Michiganders among those tested
November 8, 2007


By TINA LAM

FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER

A project to test 35 people in seven states, including five Michiganders, for industrial chemicals common in household products found that all those tested had the toxic substances in their bodies.

The chemicals shouldn’t be in humans, but most people don’t know they’re being exposed to them, said Dr. Ted Schettler of Ann Arbor, science director of the Science and Environmental Health Network and physician for the study.


The results showed that regardless of age, race, geographic location and occupation, all the study participants had at least traces of three classes of mostly unregulated chemicals in their blood or urine. The chemicals are found in tens of thousands of consumer products including wallpaper, furniture, carpet, linings of tin cans, plastic water bottles, shampoos, lotions, baby bottles, nail polish, perfume and toys.

A surprise finding for the researchers was that a Michigan legislator and a New York woman who grew up in Michigan had high levels of PBB, or polybrominated biphenyl, which Schettler said likely came from cattle feed that was accidentally contaminated with PBB in 1973.

“The point is not the levels, but the fact that these things get into all our bodies,” said Genevieve Howe of the Michigan Network for Children’s Environmental Health, which helped with the study. “They are not being regulated and they are hurting our public health.”

Exposure to these chemicals is associated in animal or human studies with birth defects, brain development, cancers, reproductive problems, liver damage and other conditions.

The three types of chemicals are phthalates, used in flexible plastics; bisphenol A, found in food can linings and plastic bottles, and flame retardants, or PBDEs.

The five people from Michigan who volunteered to have their blood and urine tested were Rep. Terry Brown, a Democrat from Pigeon, 48, and his son Bryan, 12; 46-year-old Free Press editor Laura Varon Brown of Bloomfield Hills; and Donele Wilkins, 48 and her son Payton, 18, of Detroit. Wilkins is director of Detroiters Working for Environmental Justice. Another 30 people were tested in Alaska, Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, Minnesota and New York.

Previous tests by the Centers for Disease Control on people nationwide have also shown widespread exposure to the three types of chemicals, Schettler said. Compared to national figures, the five Michiganders had relatively high pthalates and three of the five had high levels of PBBs, he said.

Varon Brown said she has a daughter with celiac disease who must stick to a wheat-free diet, and there are food labels to tell her what is and isn’t wheat-free. There should be similar disclosures for chemicals in household products, she said.

“We have the right to know what’s in there,” she said, pointing to a plastic water bottle on her desk. If consumers know what they’re exposed to, they can decide for themselves what to avoid. What they’re exposed to is the best place to start, and then people can make their own informed decisions, she said.

Rep. Brown said he underwent testing out of curiousity. "Mine is a typical family in Michigan," he said. Living in a rural area, he figured his family was relatively safe from chemical exposures. "This shows how ubiquitous toxins are. It's scary to me."

Brown and his son were the only people among those tested who showed levels of a particular flame retardant often found in furniture and electronics. They still haven't been able to figure out what their shared source of exposure might be, and he still wonders about it, he said."We need to do all we can to protect ourselves," including using safer alternative chemicals when they're available.

“We refuse to be guinea pigs in a massive, uncontrolled experiment, especially when a few people are making a lot of money off selling products that have these toxics in them,” said Donele Wilkins.

Her son, Payton, said he was disturbed to discover he already has a buildup of contaminants. “I want to live a healthy, long life,” he said.

The chemicals are legal and registered under the Toxic Substances Control Act. But the act has not been updated since it was passed in 1976 and companies are not required to test products containing the chemicals to make sure they’re safe for humans before marketing them.

“These chemicals are considered innocent until proven guilty,” Howe said. What is needed is safer alternatives, more labeling and more testing required before manufacturers put the chemicals in household products, she said.

A bill to ban deca-BDE, a widely used flame retardant, is awaiting a hearing in the Michigan House of Representatives. The chemical industry voluntarily ended production of two other flame retardants, penta-BDE and octa-BDE, in 2004 after they were found in breast milk, but the more widely used deca form is still used in furniture, mattresses and consumer electronics. Earlier this week, Canadian environmental and firefighter groups asked their government earlier this week to ban deca-BDE.

Contact TINA LAM at 313-222-6421 or tlam@freepress.com.

DEN said...

Carol, do you right click, copy paste from the address bar?

David B. Benson said...

Well, I hope there is no of that in the beer I am now going to go a drink.

And no, Den, I am unable to drink beer and post at the same time. I have enough trouble with spilling, I mean, spelling...

DEN said...

Doc, OK just be careful, don't want to spill the good stuff!

º¿carol said...

Yes, I copy the link from the address bar. Every time something won't link I do it over just in case. I don't think it's me.

º¿carol said...

The next time something won't link for me, I'll see if you can do it, Den.

I know one I can't link on any Friday, and that's BuzzFlash Hypocrite of the Week. I'll go see if I can do it now. If not, I'll send you the link and you can try.

º¿carol said...

BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week

Pervez Musharraf

carol said...

See! The link won't do it.

See if you can do it, Den

http://snipurl.com/1teuw

Gerald said...

Another great homily posted by Bishop Gumbleton

Bishop Gumbleton has been at the forefront of justice and peace movements for 40 years.

Gerald said...

I sent this article to two of my Nazi relatives

Gerald said...

Quotable
There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people.
– Howard Zinn

Gerald said...

Here is an article that make the neocons, fundamentalists, and evangelicals pee in their pants from excitement

Gerald said...

As Nazi America prepares for the Iran war, the excitement builds in seeing the slaughter human beings by Nazi Americans and possibly Nazi Israel. The dismemberment of thousands of human bodies will be everywhere. For the neocons, fundamentalists, and evangelicals that sight will be glorious experience.

DEN said...

Carol, it went right to it using your URL, but this was in the address bar:
http://www.gophypocrites.com/2007/11/hyp07045.html

So let me try to do a link from your URL

DEN said...

Link#1

DEN said...

Went right to it!

Try another mouse, you might have a fuzzy switch(electronically noisy)

DEN said...

Better go conjure up a new post.