Friday, June 27, 2008

Friday Funnies



.



17 comments:

DEN said...

Famous Political Quotes by George Carlin:

"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."

"Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out."

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."

"Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time."

"Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."

"If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else."

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

"This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen."

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans."

"These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people."

"Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do school teachers handle this?"

"I don't think we should be governing ourselves. What need is a king, and every now and then if the king’s not doing a good job, we kill him."

"George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country."

"The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it." (Watch George Carlin rant about the American Dream)

"This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out.'"

"The difference between left and right of center...originated in the French parliament. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. Broadly speaking. And generally speaking, people on...the right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. The rights and the rights of property. And generally speaking again – it's all generalized – the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. That's generally been true. And Bush is pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before."

"Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here... like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. F*ck Hope.'"

"I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. On Election Day, I stay home. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. Now, some people like to twist that around. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You voted them in. You caused the problem. You have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for that these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created."

DEN said...

---- Original Message ----

From: Bill Gates
Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 10:05 AM
To: Jim Allchin
Cc: Chris Jones (WINDOWS); Bharat Shah (NT); Joe Peterson; Will Poole; Brian Valentine; Anoop Gupta (RESEARCH)

Subject: Windows Usability Systematic degradation flame

I am quite disappointed at how Windows Usability has been going backwards and the program management groups don't drive usability issues.

Let me give you my experience from yesterday.

I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack ... so I went to Microsoft.com. They have a download place so I went there.

The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up.

This site is so slow it is unusable.

It wasn't in the top 5 so I expanded the other 45.

These 45 names are totally confusing. These names make stuff like: C:\Documents and Settings\billg\My Documents\My Pictures seem clear.

They are not filtered by the system ... and so many of the things are strange.

I tried scoping to Media stuff. Still no moviemaker. I typed in movie. Nothing. I typed in movie maker. Nothing.

So I gave up and sent mail to Amir saying - where is this Moviemaker download? Does it exist?

So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated.

They told me to go to the main page search button and type movie maker (not moviemaker!).

I tried that. The site was pathetically slow but after 6 seconds of waiting up it came.

I thought for sure now I would see a button to just go do the download.

In fact it is more like a puzzle that you get to solve. It told me to go to Windows Update and do a bunch of incantations.

This struck me as completely odd. Why should I have to go somewhere else and do a scan to download moviemaker?

So I went to Windows update. Windows Update decides I need to download a bunch of controls. (Not) just once but multiple times where I get to see weird dialog boxes.

Doesn't Windows update know some key to talk to Windows?

Then I did the scan. This took quite some time and I was told it was critical for me to download 17megs of stuff.

This is after I was told we were doing delta patches to things but instead just to get 6 things that are labeled in the SCARIEST possible way I had to download 17meg.

So I did the download. That part was fast. Then it wanted to do an install. This took 6 minutes and the machine was so slow I couldn't use it for anything else during this time.

What the heck is going on during those 6 minutes? That is crazy. This is after the download was finished.

Then it told me to reboot my machine. Why should I do that? I reboot every night -- why should I reboot at that time?

So I did the reboot because it INSISTED on it. Of course that meant completely getting rid of all my Outlook state.

So I got back up and running and went to Windows Update again. I forgot why I was in Windows Update at all since all I wanted was to get Moviemaker.

So I went back to Microsoft.com and looked at the instructions. I have to click on a folder called WindowsXP. Why should I do that? Windows Update knows I am on Windows XP.

What does it mean to have to click on that folder? So I get a bunch of confusing stuff but sure enough one of them is Moviemaker.

So I do the download. The download is fast but the Install takes many minutes. Amazing how slow this thing is.

At some point I get told I need to go get Windows Media Series 9 to download.

So I decide I will go do that. This time I get dialogs saying things like "Open" or "Save". No guidance in the instructions which to do. I have no clue which to do.

The download is fast and the install takes 7 minutes for this thing.

So now I think I am going to have Moviemaker. I go to my add/remove programs place to make sure it is there.

It is not there.

What is there? The following garbage is there. Microsoft Autoupdate Exclusive test package, Microsoft Autoupdate Reboot test package, Microsoft Autoupdate testpackage1. Microsoft AUtoupdate testpackage2, Microsoft Autoupdate Test package3.

Someone decided to trash the one part of Windows that was usable? The file system is no longer usable. The registry is not usable. This program listing was one sane place but now it is all crapped up.

But that is just the start of the crap. Later I have listed things like Windows XP Hotfix see Q329048 for more information. What is Q329048? Why are these series of patches listed here? Some of the patches just things like Q810655 instead of saying see Q329048 for more information.

What an absolute mess.

Moviemaker is just not there at all.

So I give up on Moviemaker and decide to download the Digital Plus Package.

I get told I need to go enter a bunch of information about myself.

I enter it all in and because it decides I have mistyped something I have to try again. Of course it has cleared out most of what I typed.

I try (typing) the right stuff in 5 times and it just keeps clearing things out for me to type them in again.

So after more than an hour of craziness and making my programs list garbage and being scared and seeing that Microsoft.com is a terrible website I haven't run Moviemaker and I haven't got the plus package.

The lack of attention to usability represented by these experiences blows my mind. I thought we had reached a low with Windows Network places or the messages I get when I try to use 802.11. (don't you just love that root certificate message?)

When I really get to use the stuff I am sure I will have more feedback.
...................................

I'll give ya some feedback Billy Boy, Your stuff stinks!

Better get Linux.

.

Saladin said...

Sorry Mr, Benson, I meant to answer your question from yesterday. Look up the Act Of 1871, the year the treasonous congress sold our Constitution down the river and the US became the Incorporated States Of America. Very interesting reading. Explains why our so-called "reps" don't give a damn what we think or want. And why our country is in financial ruin.

Here is a good place to start:

DEN said...

Sal, Go HERE and read some interesting things about Alex Jones and Jeff Rense

Something is awry in their stuff.

(link was in the article you just posted)

DEN said...

Biggest joke of the day:

The US Congress has approved a 170 million dollar increase in security assistance to Israel as part of its new 10-year, 30 billion dollar defense aid commitment to the Jewish state.

The money for Israel was part of a larger supplemental spending bill that included 162 billion dollars for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The legislation gained final approval in a 92-6 Senate vote late Thursday.

America's pro-Israel lobby, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, welcomed the congressional action, saying it would increase US aid to Israel to 2.55 billion dollars in fiscal year 2009, up from 2.38 billion dollars this year.

"The US commitment to maintaining Israel's qualitative military edge is the cornerstone of American policy in the region," AIPAC said in a statement Friday.

@ RAW
...................................

HOW EFFIN LUDICROUS IS THAT!

Our troops cannot get the care they need but we need to give the Jews a pay raise for being such "friendly neighbors"? WTF????

Congress in an effort to kowtow to the Jew Lobby has put terrorists ahead of our own troops health care for fighting an illegal war of choice.

What do the Jews need to defend against? Hatred cause they are the biggest A-holes in the ME and everybody wants them gone??

Let them stand on their own merit, if they fall because they have none, so be it.

.

ò,óarol said...

They could have possibly used that $170 million to start a national health care system? Add to that all the money they've pissed away in Iraq, etc. What a loser country we live in.

Hajji said...

Computer (actually XP Pro) went down...complete, total failure...

All the things recommended to recover lost files, etc...failed.

Short of getting some forensic specialist, I'm F-ed.

Just goes along with the terrible last couple weeks...

I'll catch up some time.

-T

David B. Benson said...

Hajji --- Get a Linux.

Hajji said...

Ok, I caught up some...

Thank you all for the birthday wishes and stuff.

This year's birthdays, however, need to be filed away, somewhere.

Only the second day that 'lil Duncan joined us here, he showed signs of being pretty sick, (lethargic, just wanting to lay down and be left alone, etc)

By Monday night I realized that he'd stopped eating and hadn't passed anything all day. There were no bowels sounds at all, so I took him in to the vet.

He had a temp of 104, rapid heartbeat and purple lines forming on his gums, sign of major blood toxicity.

X-rays reavealed a pneumonia and his bloodwork showed that he'd had it for quite a while.

The accompanying dehydration plus the stress of travel probably screwed up his gut, which is the "shock organ" in horses, like the lungs and heart are in humans.

My local vet suggested the "Bonnie Brae Equine Hospital" in Tryon, NC.

The doc there said the colic was probably treatable, but surgery would be impossible due to his fragile condition. So we did everything medically possible (super-hydration, wide-spectrum IV antibiotics, etc) but we couldn't give him any pain meds, because that would just shut down his digestive system, even more.

I sat with him all day, watching him perk up a bit with a cople liters of fluid in him, hoping that he'd somehow start flushing the poisons from his system.

In the early evening, he started showing signs of pain, biting and kicking at his belly, thrashing and bashing his head.

I had them give him sedation...and then put him down.

I brought him home and buried him near "sunset point", on the north-west side of the hill...it took most of the night.

We are devestated. It has drained us emotionally and financially and on top of everything else, left nothing but a hole in our hearts.


Sorry to be a bummer.

-T

Saladin said...

DEN, conducting research is an art, takes time to separate the wheat from the chaff. I consider Rense and Jones like going to the library. There are lots of books on Big Foot, UFO's, ghosts and other such subjects. But there are also many good and informative books as well. I try to combine my research with observation. What is going on and who is making accurate and informed predictions? This takes time. I have found that those two are trying to please a wide variety of people, but they also have been right on many times. When the writing is on the wall you have to be blind or stupid not to see it. Just pay attention, it all comes out in the wash.

Saladin said...

Jeez Hajji, what an awful birthday memory. I'm so sorry, I loved the picture you sent. I don't know what else to say, I am thinking about all of you.

Blessings my friend

DEN said...

There is a chance that Rense does not even exist as a person, why would I believe him or anything on his site?? Big flag, credentials required for that job.

There is a certain amount of sites out their with ulterior motives run by people in the shadows.

Time to grab the grain of salt.

Credible information is critical for important decisions in my world with the other blind stupids.

We must always seek out the truth.



.

David B. Benson said...

Hajji --- I am so sorry.

Saladin said...

UM Den, I think that's what I said? Rense has many contributors, quite a few that I highly respect based on a 4 year reading history. Don't dump the wheat WITH the chaff!!

BTW, why do I have to keep signing in to post here when I never signed out??

Sheesh, what a pain!

Also this statement is annoying and bullshit:

"Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."

The so-called "liberal Democrats" have started and escalated more wars and bloodshed then any single entity on planet earth. Who exactly dropped the nukes on Japan for no good reason? They have also, via Wilson and Roosevelt, sold our country to the elite bankers who have proceeded to rape and pillage the people to the brink of disaster. The one and ONLY person calling for an end to ALL wars and empire building by the United States, plus the withdrawal of ALL our troops from their occupying positions around the world as well as pulling the plug on the parasitical Federal Reserve happens to be Conservative Republican, of the Jeffersonian variety, you know, the kind that is nearly extinct? Come on people WAKE UP!

DEN said...

Like riding herd on cats, gotta stay flexible.

Signing in is a way of life in Googleland by the way. They dump in new cookies every week making you sign in to get them.

I call it the cookie jar, and a once a week trip to get your cookie so you will be recognized.

One more reason to dislike this place called Googleland.

.

DEN said...

Beer thirty on my watch, Hajji better have two.

Adios till tomorros!

.

micki said...

Gosh, Hajji. That's such a sad story. But, I imagine Duncan was so hopeful having you there as his advocate.

Godspeed.